


D'Argo Earthly Musical Experience

by vinegardog



Category: Farscape
Genre: Fanfic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-08
Updated: 2012-06-08
Packaged: 2017-11-07 07:08:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/428301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vinegardog/pseuds/vinegardog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>D'Argo goes on a day out on his own and comes across a concert</p>
            </blockquote>





	D'Argo Earthly Musical Experience

WARNING: this is my first fic EVER, so continue at your own peril! I decided that I would give it a go even though my mind goes WONKO and I panic a bit every time I see a blank page. Face your own fears and all that dren, I guess….

The characters are not mine but borrowed (and disfigured I might add) from the wonderful inventive universe that is Farscape. No money has been made – who in their right mind would pay for this?!?

Also, I have never been to Miami and no offence is meant to Heavy Metal fans, so please let none be taken!

Last but not LEAST, thanks to Nymeria for all her encouragement and kindness, for reading this for me before I posted it and for great pointers of which I hope I was able to make good use – SHE IS AWESOME!

Word count: 1108

So here we go:

SC55 D’ARGO’S EARTHLY MUSICAL ADVENTURE (G)

John and I have become so close over the cycles, I must admit I have grown fond of this strange Human and now that I am here on Earth, finally encountering so many of the people he has told me interminable stories about – his family, his friends, celebrities on TV and in movies - even though I still think he is a little nuts, now that I have seen him in context with the rest of his species, I understand a little more his quirks and previously unfathomable weirdness . 

These humans (with the exceptions of John’s family who are really trying hard) look in wonder and with definite suspicion upon us –  
I mean, OK, Sikozu can be abrasive and quite a bit condescending, Chiana wild and disrespectful, Rygel conceited and disdainful as well as disgustingly gluttonous, Noranti weird and disconcerting (her bouts of narcolepsy not really a great help in that matter!). Aeryn of course outwardly fits in the best – she looks like a human after all – but something is not right with her in the last monen or so and even though she tries hard she looks like a drannit in a cravock or as John would put it “a fish out of water” especially when Caroline is around…. 

So I really feel it comes down to me to show these people on Earth that not all aliens are to be feared and avoided - it is time to really fit in and bridge the apparent cultural gaps.

To fulfil his goal D’Argo slipped out of the guarded villa with the help of Bobby and while John was busy butting heads with the suites from Washington, he stole one of the four wheeled machines the humans so depended on and drove, not without some difficulty and some very hair-raising close calls out of the suburban neighbourhood towards one of the biggest and closest human settlements, Miami.

Bobby had given him some pointers – “D’Argo, my dad says that if you want to see some babes, you need to go to South Beach – skimpy bikinis and prime female specimen aplenty!” That sounded good to D’Argo, so he played around with the basic onboard computer (also called a GPS, he seemed to remember) and off he went following the instructions of a disembodied, annoying female voice, which several times almost drove him into hyper-rage.

It was sunny, it was hot and D’Argo was standing in South Beach ready to be friendly and mingle…but, wait!, people all around started screaming and scattering at the sight of him. 

“Hold on! This is not going as planned but, let’s be honest, when does it ever?”

D’Argo decided that given the panic surging around him, he’d better make a retreat, so he turned on his heels and headed down a side street planning his next move as he went. He was deep in thought when all of a sudden he found himself at the end of a stream of people – odd looking people – different looking people – humans no doubt (after all this was Earth!) but resembling somehow, albeit vaguely, a crowd of Vorcarian Bloodtrackers or indeed handsome Charrids. He didn’t stand out as much in this company and he was barely getting the odd glance in his direction so he decided to follow and see where they were headed, for the moment at least protected and somehow safe in the crowd.

After about 10,000 denches he found himself standing in front of a gate sporting a great big sign reading….here he really would have loved to have Aeryn ‘s help – 

“Frell! I should have watched that programme on TV with her when we were on Earth not so long ago when John was just a boy and they were teaching children the English alphabet.”

From what he could make out the letters spelled O..Z…Z…F…E…S…T…. He read the word quietly to himself but his translator microbes didn’t seem to come up with anything of any meaning to him. He sensed however a feverish excitement in the crowd and since he found himself out of immediate options, he decided to stick around and see what was going on.

Right in front of him was a raised area adorned with powerful imagery and holding what looked suspiciously like musical instruments… and then all of a sudden the crowd quietened and a slightly unsteady on his feet, long haired, tattooed man…

“Excuse me sir are those tattoos insignia of military power? If they are this person must be of the highest rank like a general or at least a very mighty warrior given the number and size of them all over his body!” D’Argo asked of one of the people standing right beside him forgetting of course to speak the few basic word of English he had learned and coming out instead in his mother language, which of course only got him a scowl and a more than suspicious look.

In the meanwhile the man on stage had stepped forward and raised his arms saluting his worshippers – an almighty roar met this gesture followed again by a rapt silence. The man spoke…..and again D’Argo’s translator microbes drew a complete blank ! What fascinating language was this man speaking that could defeat a universal translator tool as sophisticated as the microbes were!?!

While D’Argo was pondering on the matter, the man terminated the speech and turned to his band and a wondrous thing happened…the most melodious, harmonious sound filled the space all around him. Music that transported him back to a faraway time back on his home planet when, as a little boy, his parents would bring him to listen to the best musical maestros and virtuoso singers of the Luxan race. 

“By all the Luxan Gods, this music is divine!”

D’Argo could not help but join in with the obviously highly sophisticated music connoisseurs all around him in their head banging syncopated movements that accompanied so well the celestial harmonies surrounding him and swallowing him up in pure bliss. The crowd was chanting in unison the name of the musical genius producing such magic and all of a sudden…. what the Hezmana!

Two big sets of hands landed on his shoulders and when he turned around he found himself face to face with two of the agents put in charge of the aliens, the same two he had given the slip to a few arns ago.

The adventure was over, the two agents escorted him gently but very firmly back to their black four wheeled machine, bundled him in the back and drove him back to the mansion where Moya’s crew was residing. 

This may have been the end of a wonderful afternoon but D’Argo felt he MUST do something to remember and really etch in his mind what had been such a sublime and unexpected experience, so excitedly he stepped into the living room where Aeryn and Chi were watching TV and eating cop porn and he exclaimed: 

“From this solar day forward down through the cycles, my Qualta blade will be known as The Ozzie!”

Aeryn and Chiana exchanged a look traditionally reserved for John’s nonsensical gibberish.

 

The end


End file.
